It's true what "they" say:
The longer you're alone, the more you believe that something is wrong with you.



Ugh. Just a moment of weakness. It's all good.
I'm good.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I hope.

Each and every person has at least one experience which allows them to see how they are connected with the rest of the world, or in which they can derive the true meaning of human nature, and what it means to be an individual in this vast universe. These experiences are comprised of tiny moments in which a light bulb comes on, and every question about what it means to be alive becomes clarified. These moments define how people live, whether they realize it or not; each second determines the next. I, myself, have had several of these “a-ha!” moments when I least expected it. There is one place and one moment, however, that I cannot help but go back to in my memory over and over again.
I live in a small neighborhood, situated right next to a small portion of the Ohio Turnpike. I’ve grown up listening to the trucks and cars whooshing past, and have become so accustomed to the noise that I cannot hear it unless I make myself listen. I had never given their presence a second thought until I went for a walk late one night and found myself standing on the bridge looking over the dark turnpike, spreading for miles and miles beneath my feet in each direction. Hundreds of headlights sped under me. My first thought was that standing on the edge of the bridge was like being on a spaceship traveling beyond billions of stars each second. While I stood there longer, it became very obvious that it was not I who was moving, but everyone else. This was not a genius revelation: Physically, yes, I was just standing on a bridge. I was the one standing still while the cars raced to their destinations.
There was more that happened in that moment, though. I suddenly realized that I had become stagnant in my dreams and in my aspirations. My motivation to live was dead. I had no desire to pursue everything that I had said I wanted as a child. Instead I was choosing to be idle while my friends and family continued their lives without me. They each had ambitions that they were working to make realities, and I was being left behind in the dust their labor made. In that instant while standing on that bridge, I recognized that it was not just the cars going towards their target, but the driver as well. The drivers had motive and courage to go wherever they had to go, knowing that the journey would be dangerous, full of roadblocks and the ever-haunting possibility of fatal accidents. I lost that courage and that drive to fulfill my dreams. I was complacent, comfortable in my immobility. I had forgotten that in order to make my aspirations a reality, I had to make progress happen. I had to put in the work to make my life what I wanted it to be.
Humanity often forgets that it is our choices which determines the rest of our lives. We become lazy and satisfied with the way our lives turn out rather than at least attempting to make them better. I firmly believe that God does have a hand and offer direction in our lives, but it is ultimately our decision to listen to Him or not. We can either strive for more, for perfection, or we can stay the way we are, gathering dust rather than making it fly behind us. It is so easy to get stuck in ruts in any stage in our lives. The difficult part is deciding to climb out of them rather than making that rut a home. Once we make the hard decision to crawl out of our apathy, we can begin to generate momentum as we drive towards our goals, just as those people in the vehicles on the Ohio Turnpike continued to drive - no matter what the cost - and we can reach true joy and happiness knowing that we did not quit.

Weep for yourself, my man,
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head

But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn't I, my dear?
-Mumford & Sons, "Little Lion Man"


Well, I almost did.
I almost fucked it up reallll bad.
It's amazing what can be fixed once one actually opens his or her mouth to share thoughts and hurts.
Once you say what you're thinking out loud, most of the time you realize how ridiculous you sound.
I convince myself there are problems all the time when things are actually fine.
I've realized lately that I'm not nearly as secure as I let people think. I might even be a bit paranoid - who knows. I'm always worried that my friends are going to leave me for someone better. I'm always scared they like everyone else better than they like me, and they only hang out with me when there's no one else around.
Even if that is true for some people, I need to remind myself that not everyone thinks that. I am worth at least something to someone. Not everyone is as much of a jerk as I am apprehensive.
Thank God.

Thoughts are no good when left in your head; they almost always need some air.
Here's to letting thoughts breathe. :)

Why am I in a shitty mood all of the sudden?!

Hello and good afternoon, everyone.
I'm Pearl. :)
I had plenty of ideas and quotes from Albert Einstein, Aristotle, and Leonardo Da Vinci to choose from, but I decided to use something from a different genius: Dr. Seuss.
He once said,
"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”
I want to encourage all of you to never stop learning, and never stop growing. Every moment of every day is an opportunity to learn - don't take them for granted. Take something with you from every experience - good or bad. Keep in mind that taking shortcuts may not always teach us the lessons that we need and that sometimes the only way to learn is the hard way. Whatever happens and whatever you go through, try to dust yourself off and come out a better person - a person with more wisdom and strength than before.
We're finally graduating from high school. It's a big deal and a great accomplishment - but it's not the end. We still have the rest of our lives ahead of us. Whether you become a writer, soldier, teacher, lawyer, beautician, nurse or surgeon, truck driver, the owner of a company, or whatever you want to do, make the most of it, and make the most of yourselves. Never stop striving to make your life everything that you want it to be. We will never know where we can end up, so let's do our best to make it to the top; let's make a difference.
That's really all I have to say. That, and of course, congratulations, Class of 2011.